Worried Yet Again

Only 2 days to go until I get another ultrasound and my bloodwork. I have not had the morning sickness others complain about -- my few incidences with nausea are gone. I have had no cramping, no spotting or bleeding, nothing else to give me any thoughts about it conclusively, but I think it has ceased to grow. I really should have insisted on an ultrasound yesterday so I wouldn't spend the weekend obsessing over this ... but the didn't want me to have one anyways since all looked so good, so I guess this is the next best thing.

Grrr ..... I have the patience and temper of a 3 year old with a toy just out of reach.

On the other side, I think I've made some decisions about what to say to the OB. This is graphic. When I was 12 and had my finger set after being smashed to bits, they tried the Novocaine in the finger 6 times. After the 6th shot (and the doctor wanted to go home), my pinky was still feeling simple touches. He said, "This is going to hurt" and manually reformed my finger, moving it back into position (it was hanging off to the side of my hand) and then proceeded to wrap and splint it. I screamed like a banshee. It HURT! My mother, of course, held onto my hand the whole time and my brothers stood with their mouths gaped open. Afterwards, the doctor explained that some people just don't process the meds the right way and when it became obvious this local anaesthetic was not going to take, he had to do it with no warning, no time for me to anticipate the pain. It simply had to be done. Well, I got over it (with large doses of Tylenol). Another time when I went in for a tooth filling, they had to inject 4 Novocaine shots to deaden a tooth. It almost worked ... I still had some feeling but the pain was deadened.

Now we get to the narcotic sensitivity. The dextro- drug found in cough medicine lays me out. I take 2 teaspoons (the amount indicated for children 12-16 years old) and I am catatonic for hours. I've taken cough meds for toddlers - still wacky. The last time I took cough medicine, I used the baby formula (probably now off the market) and the infant size dose, and I was drunk as a skunk a day later. I was also prescribed Ativan in college by a doctor (he thought I was stressed) and I was a crumpled mass of body, unable to move legs or arms, crying in the hall, no bodily control. And that wasn't even the whole pill. I'd split it into 1/4. Another time the doctor prescribed Vicodin for back pain, when I was having a bad reaction to a cholesterol-lowering drug. I know I came up for air occasionally, but I basically spent a week sleeping face first on my couch.

Now let me tell you about Benadryl. I have an anaphylactic reaction to lemon. When we were first investigating why I was having these allergy attacks (we did not know I was allergic to lemon at this point), I was told to take 2 Benadryl when my lips started to swell. Exactly 20 minutes later, I was a catatonic mass. We didn't clue in on it right away, so there I would be sitting and my mom would ask me a question and I would answer, albeit in my mind and not out loud. My body just did not work. So my little brother would have to pick me up from my chair and take me to the sofa and lay me out. Four hours later, I would be back, but no sooner. So we eventually learned that 1 Benadryl equals 2 hours' sleep. We also learned that although the directions for Benadryl say you may experience drowsiness, they really didn't know the extent to which my body reacted ... so 1 was usually best. I still only take 1 Benadryl when I am having a reaction, due in part to the fact that I live alone and need enough consciousness to get to an ER if the attack turns worse than it started.

OK, so here we have a body that does not respond well or predictably to different medications. I am super-sensitive when it comes to narcotics and anti-histamines and not as sensitive when it comes to the -caine family. I don't know what this means but I do know I prefer we work with the known and given. For instance, during the egg retrieval, they only used 2 of their regular 4 drugs on me and the 2 they used worked to a hyper degree than they anticipated. Can we find out what those drugs were and how much was used and how quickly I went under? In other words, let's not use the regular known childbirth drug protocol, let's adjust it for the lightweight I am. I wonder if that is possible? Well, it certainly is going to be something I plan to discuss with her.

Of course, all this rides on the embryo continuing to be alive ... so I think I will bid adieu and go worry over some food. Food is balm for the soul, right? :)