Nathaniel's Early NICU Days

Nathaniel was a tiny little guy when he was born - 2 pounds, 8 ounces. He lived in the Acute care section of the NICU for about 8 days, during which he got his initial 2 transfusions (I'd lost a lot of blood, some of which was his), artifical surfactant, and several evaluations. He had Respiratory Distress Syndrome, a normal enough thing for 28 weekers with immature lung development (despite the steroid shots I got prior). Due to the RDS, Nathaniel was struggling to breathe, so the doctors ordered him hooked up to a ventilator. He was transferred from the regular vent to the oscillating vent within hours, to better enable him to breathe. The oscillator shakes the baby, keeping the alveoli inflated, a necessary step towards independent breathing. After the oscillator, he went back to the normal ventilator. At some point, he was extubated (the days are a bit hazy) and placed on vapotherm, which is a nasal cannula with moisturized oxygen/air. Nathaniel varied between 40% and 23% oxygen content. Room air is 23%.

A clergywoman blessed him on his first day of life, to my everlasting gratitude.

Nathaniel showed himself to be a fighter from the first day. He lifted his head and turned it to face the nurse before he was intubated, a show of strength and will. I'm hoping he glared at her, since she was the one who told me I had the "sickest baby in the NICU", not something ANY mother ever wants to have. And the shock was not necessary. I was ALREADY in shock, for goodness sakes.

While Nathaniel was in Acute Care, we kangaroo'd. Kangaroo care is a technique whereby the parent sits sans shirt, etc. skin-to-skin with the preemie. Preemies meanwhile will regulate their breathing to Mommy, maintain a steady temperature, and sink into a deep healing sleep. Kangaroo'd babies also gain weight faster. I became an avid Kangarooing Mommy. Helen, his nurse on the 5th day, said it was time to hold him. (I hadn't held him yet.) She placed him on my chest. I bawled. Copious, meaningful tears. Then he fell asleep. I was so worried I'd break him. I could not imagine holding him as casually as Helen did ... but it worked. We were together that first day for about 30 minutes. Helen took his measurements and he had stayed warm, his heart rate was fine, etc., and did I want to do it tomorrow?

Heck yes.

I have pictures of us on that 5th day, him so dark and red (from the transfusions), me so spindly pale (from the shock and fatigue). But he was so peaceful looking and I was so happy. I finally had my little boy.

On his 13th day of life, Nathaniel fell ill from a staph infection. The nurse caught it early, just from him not acting like himself (I guess he'd made no escape attempts that day) and put him back on the vent as well as on antibiotics. He never even got a fever from it, because preemies don't have an immune system to kick on with a fever. They are essentially sitting ducks. As I was getting updated on his status and felt a pain beginning in my lower abdomen. Thinking it was a panic attack, I told the nurse I was going to trust her, that I didn't feel so good, and that I was going to go lay down.

And laying down did not help, so I walked to the ER, a short elevator ride and hall hop away.

That night I got my gallbladder removed in emergency surgery. The poor physician's assistant who had to go get me a breast pump from the NICU could not imagine the single-minded devotion I had to taking care of my son. So Nathaniel was on the 9th floor recovering and I was on the 5th floor recovering.

The next morning, I bounded up to see him, as healthy as I could be with 4 holes in my abdominal region, and he had weathered the night very well. See what a fighter I have?