The Story

On a Monday morning in July, I awoke to minimal bleeding when I used the toilet. I panicked. I wiped again, more bleeding. I knew it wasn't good.

For the next 20 minutes, I went from speaking with the on-call OB to wiping again, each time with more blood and clots and back to the phone. I awoke my parents (they were visiting for the night) and said I thought I was having a miscarriage, that I had to get to the hospital ASAP. I was 26 weeks.

At the hospital, they found that I was having premature labor contractions, that my water had broken, and that I was 1 cm dilated. Since the NICU at the hospital was unable to handle the needs of a 26 week gestational age baby, they had to transfer me to another hospital with a Level III NICU. I was pumped full of magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions and sent by ambulance an hour and a half away.

The mag sulfate stopped the contractions, the bleeding stopped, and the new doctor, a perinatologist (since I was now High Risk -- huh, fancy that), looked at the ultrasound results and decided my marginal previa must be acting like a complete previa. Still, he was hopeful it was a one-time only bleed. And since I had lost minimal amniotic fluid, it must have been a small tear in the sac. So I was placed on hospital bedrest for a week. If no new bleeds during that time and no resumption of labor, I could go home and do modified bedrest at home for the remainder of the pregnancy. Thank goodness I was on summer break from school!

Well, that week trial only lasted until Thursday. A small bleed, but it reset the clock. They did tests again, nothing. Still, they thought the previa looked marginal but was acting like a complete. As one doctor said, it was quacking like a duck, so it must be a duck.

It wasn't a duck.

I had a major bleed that Sunday, so major that I scared a tried-and-true labor and delivery nurse by the amount of blood and size of the clot I passed. (I thought it was the baby when it was coming out of me.) I got transfusions and my bleeding stopped. Crisis averted.

Another bleed occured Tuesday. Again, I scared people. (I got so good at that, too.) I had a serious blood pressure dip where the nurse was calling my name and I was unable to respond, just floating there thinking "yeah, what?" But no new blood was needed.

And then Thursday arrived, 11 days after I had first entered the hospital. For the first time, I bled during the daylight hours, at about 7:30 pm. (Always before, it was dark outside, although the bleeds were in the early morning.) And this time, I started bleeding while watching TV laying down. I was doing nothing and just felt the trickling oozing out of me. I stepped to the bedside toilet and had a massive gush. And rang the nurse call bell. When the nurse came in (it was the same one I had terrified prior), I told her I'd been "peeing" for about 2 minutes and I was scared, that surely it wasn't urine. It wasn't. She helped me get horizontal again and the ooze continued. Doctors rushed in, evaluations were made, and I heard the fatal words "no food or drink".

OK, time for an emergency C-section. I was all alone in the hospital and only had 25 minutes notice to let folks know. My labor coach was back home, too far away to help in the time allotted. Besides, I wasn't about to labor: they were pulling my son to save both of our lives. I couldn't reach my folks. In a panic, I called both brothers, told them the news and that I couldn't reach my parents. They took care of matters and right before I was wheeled in for surgery, got the call from my mom saying, "I love you. It will be all right."

And it was. The surgery was performed without a hitch and at 10:29 pm I heard a mewling, like a tiny kitten. It was my 2 lb, 8 oz. son crying. I got a brief glimpse of him before he was rushed to the NICU. Once I was stitched up, I went to the recovery room and was laced with morphine. Good stuff, that. Took the pain away.

Hours later, my brother arrived from a madcap dash from CT to upstate, central NY. He sat with me in the recovery room while we waited for the first trip to see my son. Finally, finally, they were ready for me. Up we went to see him. There he was on the warming table, tiny and dark, with these massive heels upright on the table. While the neonatologist was telling me his status, I marveled at his heels. Just the previous evening, we had played "Catch That Foot" as he kicked me black and blue. And here were the offenders, in person. Well, the little guy was healthy and a fighter, in good shape. Time would tell.

They led me down to the postpartum unit and I slept off the morphine and anesthesia. When I awoke, it was to a visitor (my labor coach and good friend) and a neonatologist ... my son needed breathing help so he was going to be intubated. Was that all right? I said, "Whatever you have to do." I totally did not understand what was going on.

A couple hours later, my brother escorted me up to see my son. And I realized the impact of everything, that this little tiny baby was fighting for his life. But. To foreshadow another day's posting, I have to say that he fought well and God held him in his hands for 115 days. He's now a rather robust (albeit thin) little wonder who won't stop pulling my hair or ears.

Puppy Dog Tails

Update: In July, I experienced some bleeding and was ordered to go to Labor and Delivery at my local hospital. I was 26 weeks along. While there, they discovered the bleeding was pretty serious, my waters had ruptured, and I was in early labor. Fun! I was given magnesium sulfate by IV and transferred to a hospital which could handle the care of a 26 week old baby.

At the new hospital (an hour and a half from my home), they decided that the amniotic fluid was merely leaking, a small hole, and that it might heal on its own. This is, apparently, a common occurence. The mag stopped the contractions (they felt like Braxton Hicks contractions to me!) and the bleeding ceased. For then.

I was on hospital bedrest for a week and if there was no new bleeding, I could go home. Well, I held out 4 days. The docs were convinced it was my marginal previa acting like a complete - walking like a duck, quacking like a duck. Multiple ultrasounds later, it still looked marginal, but golly, this woman is bleeding!

Well, 3 hemorrhages later (and oodles and oodles of blood transfusions), they took my son from me at 28 weeks, 0 days (by ultrasound measurement). And discovered a rather nasty grade 3 abruption, albeit minus any of the pain you're supposed to have with the abruption.

And my son's journey began. I shall be updating the blog as time allows, but suffice it to be my son was in the NICU for 15 weeks. (3 weeks past his due date and wouldn't you like to see the final bill?) He has developmental delay, and no one is sure yet if the delay is simply prematurity or if there is something else like cerebral palsy involved. (We should know that in a year and a half conclusively.) And I have gone from a Choice Mom with a normal pregnancy to a Choice Mom with a preemie, an issue which kind of takes the cake and thought away from being an SMC. In other words, how he came about does not matter at all; instead, how can we address his issues and help him grow as much as possible? I think my lack of marital status matters naught. Yay! So, stay tuned. Will update when I get a chance (ha ha ha - like that is often).

No Infection

Good news! I don't have ANY infection. Apparently yellow foul-smelling discharge is going to be my normal. Yay! (Although, not having made a practice of previously smelling my discharge, how do I know what "foul" really smells like?)

Looking 6 months pregnant, but only 5. Interesting.

I got some books from Amazon and off of paperbackswap.com (a great deal, that one, just pay for postage to swap paperbacks). I am boning up on my baby information. Not having babysat a true infant in 30 years (yep, you read that right), I am woefully ignorant of infant's needs. Here are some things I learned:

• Babies don't need to be bathed every day. Every 2 or 3 days is fine and is recommended by doctors to keep their skin from drying out.
• Babies need manicures on a frequent basis because their fingernails grow so quickly. OTOH, their toenails grow much slower.
• Breastfed babies typically experience bowel movements after every feeding, so be prepared for constant diaper changes, above and beyond formula diaper changes.
• Use of cloth diapers really does decrease the incidence of diaper rash. (I thought it was cloth diaper propaganda, but the doctors said so.) Expect diaper rash between 3-6 months of age.
• Smiling occurs after 3 months of age.
• Separation anxiety is normal at 12 months. This worries me since my son will be 10 months when he starts F/T daycare again after a summer at home with me.

Anyways, just some of the fun stuff I learned. I am reading a book about the colic period too, and this doctor has a set method for handling it ... among the suggestions is using a vacuum cleaner in his presence. I'm still reading but it seems to be just 1 guy's opinion, not shared by the other books. We'll see ... 15 minutes of fame and all that.

So, until next time. Have a happy! :)

My Latest Appointment

Well, today was my anatomical ultrasound. All was going very well ... five fingers on one hand (the other scrunched by his face), five toes (never saw the other foot), cute as a button nose, legs and arms, good upper lip (no cleft palate), great spine, excellent heart and heartrate, empty bladder and stomach, just an overall good wiggly baby. Apparently, since I have a rear-facing placenta and am so darned skinny, I should be feeling him kicking. Nothing. And he is so wiggly. (He really detests the ultrasound wand pressing, too.) The placenta looks good except ... drumroll please ... it was low-lying, until she got a better look. Then, it was near the edge, until she got a different angle. Now, it is on the edge. She said it was partial placenta previa, but everything on the internet has said it is a marginal previa. Whichever, I could use some prayers that it resolves itself. My research found that 90% DO resolve themselves, so here is hoping. Of course, it is this time that I must remind myself that if there is a minimal chance of having something, I always win that lottery ... if only it was minimal chances of GREAT things occuring!

Next, I told her about some yellow discharge ... pee in the cup routine. I had an internal exam where 2 cultures were made and they are being sent off to the lab ... so we will see in a couple days. The doctor thinks it is Group B Strep since it wasn't any of the STDs they test for there in their lab. Simple round of antibiotics ... ho hum.

Oooh, dizzy spell just now. Still going on, too. Fascinating. OK, gone.

So, then the doc said I had blood in my urine ... what else can happen? I checked with my mother and yes, I remembered correctly. She has had blood in her urine for over 20 years and I've had it for about 7. So perhaps it is nothing. Mom has a miniscule amount and so too did I today. So here is hoping ....

We also discussed my constipation issues. Basically, I don't go for a week, which is when I clean out (per my OB's directions) with laxative and enema. But this is for the birds ... so she said to take magnesium with my prenatal and then also to take stook softeners every night. I am also being referred to a nutitionist to perhaps address my fiber intake issues. Basically, last time I met recommended daily fiber requirements, I lost 15 pounds. And one can't do that until AFTER Little One has arrived. So ... we'll see what this one says!

So, no good news ... well, unless you count the fact that that Little One looks wonderful, is 9 ounces already, and wiggly as all can be. Another appointment in 4 weeks, so ... have a happy one!

18 weeks along

Well, things are going really well with Little One. I am 18w2d today, showing quite obviously, and no issues, other than traditional constipation and daily headaches. The constipation is so bad I have resorted to abnormal methods to take care of the problem (as advised by my OB), just so that I have the room in my abdomen for eating. Here's the rub ... I have gained NOTHING since my appointment 2 weeks ago. So, not good. Gotta figure out a way to get the food in and the processed food out. :)

I have a lot of suppies for my son already. I bought a lot of things used off of Craigslist ... crib for $30, changing table for $20, bathtub for $5, Chicco travel system for $170, all sorts of goodies for major discounts. Now all I need to do is load up on medicinals and clth diapers and I will be on my way. I'm saving some things for showers ... oh yeah, and the breast pump. I doubt anyone would give me one, so I just have to figure out how to get on cheaply.

Other than all that, not much is new.

Have a great day!

Very long time, huh?

I must admit: I have been among the missing. When last I updated, I was pregnant but awaiting a likely miscarriage, since I rarely get good TTC news. Well, the kid has stuck. He's in there, yes, sirree, he's growing big and strong.

I had my CVS last Thursday and I am expecting a chromosomally normal boy. The CVS doctor said his placenta looks great (no previa present). My OB said I am doing fine but she would like me to gain weight, not lose it. Whoops. I lost 2 pounds because the constipation makes me feel full. So this weekend, I got rid of everything as much as I could and I can eat a bit more.

I had little nausea and no vomiting during the first trimester. The little nausea I had was relieved by food, so as long as I ate and drank with regularity, he was a pleased little one. The exhaustion was a killer. I did not realize how tired I had been until it started easing week 9. I think the extra corpeus luteums finally died out and stopped producing so much progesterone. Of course, I'm not a doctor so I really don't know. Call it a hunch.

I am definitely getting fat. I show in my tight clothes, so I have been finding some loose ones to wear until I am ready to come out of the closet. I just worry over how a colleague will handle it, so I want some other things to occur before I let on that I am expecting. I just don't know how much more I can do ... at some point someone is going to notice just how much larger my stomach is than my breasts and AHAH! You're pregnant!

My mother has gone apeshit, in my opinion. I have clothes and things for this baby coming out of my ears. She is now off to buy me a 2nd crib (at least she's getting it off of Craigslist) so I can have one in his bedroom and another in the dining room on the 1st floor. She doesn't want Little One to sleep in a Pack and Play -- even though tons of babies DO, hey, it's not good enough for him!

So, that is that. On the other news front (i.e., real life), I started collecting seeds for my vegetable garden. My OB said no to herbicides (no Round Up), pesticides (no bug killer) and no fertilizer, so I guess I'm going organic this year! LOL! I can paint the baby's room now - yay! And I'm still trying to figure out how to make a lawnmower shed down in my 3rd level. We'll see. Maybe Dad will come visit and build it for me? :) Or not. Who knows?

So, I am basically quite happy about things. A little uncertain about work and dang if my house has not yet sold (I never intended to own 2 homes, blast the economy), but on the whole reasonably happy.

Will write soonish ... promise ...

So I'm a Worrywart ........

I went in for my ultrasound and bloodwork this morning. But first, a little background -- I last wrote on Saturday that my symptoms were all gone or had never appeared, so I was confused it was a missed misscarriage. Mond you, I didn't want that, but that's what I thought ... I felt FINE. And then Sunday it hit. Nausea. My body will not do crab cakes. Nor gravy. It says NO. And when the body says NO like that, I listen. Hot flashes, just getting so warm I feel like I'm going to keel, and then nothing, so I am freezing.

So, that was yesterday. Today, I went in for the u/s and we have a baby measuring 7w4d (real age: 7w2d) with a heartbeat of 154. Phew. Relief. I'm getting thyroid levels checked and the doc gave me seabands to help with the nausea. (I feel much better. Now can we do something about the constipation?)

So, all in all, a good appointment. And I am apparently the most worry-wart person out there.

Oh yeah, and the OHSS is STILL there. The pooch I have is not from the baby, it's still the hyperstimulation. Grrr. I want a flat-belly belly shot!