Heartbeat Seen

Well, another milestone has been struck. On 5w6d, I got an ultrasound which revealed that not only was the embryo still alive, there was a very strong heartbeat of 143 bpm (week 6 it's supposed to be in the 90s). Yay! The embryo measures at 4 mm. It measures at 6w1d, which is 2 days ahead.

It's like all along, this little embryo has been determined to outperform the standards. First, high HCG, quadrupling when it was supposed to double, outrageous progesterone, and now above standard growth and strong heartbeat.

The OHSS is a bit better. The ovaries are shrinking and more fluid is in my pelvic cavity (hence the pain I was feeling, due to the cavity becoming inflamed from that fluid). It's still just a waiting game ...

After the ultrasound, I spoke with the nurse practitioner - she is connected to the infertility doctor, not the OB/gyn section. She was trying to release me to an OB. I was like, wait! I'm still in miscarriage territory.

She didn't say it outright, but she made me think these thoughts with everything else she did say - I have been so worried about miscarriage, it's almost like I've been expecting it. I had not realized cognitively or emotionally that we were working with probable birth. I am now at 90%+ likelihood of a child, so it is time to pick an OB. I have to pick an OB because that's who will be in charge of me - because I am no longer infertile. Shoot, talk about having to reframe your expectations and operating methods!

I sat down and tried to come up with criteria and thoughts .... something I had not yet done because I wasn't thinking I'd need one until 13 weeks. So I now have thoughts - I need an OB who:

• is laid back yet does all the required tests, etc. Basically, if something is worrying her, she dances around it and lets me know WHEN it is important, no prior to. I am a compulsive worrier so it is better to make light of things until I need to worry.
• acknowledges I am an intelligent woman yet can handle my ignorance well. Not having had children before nor taken much interest in the process, I am kind of clueless to this whole thing.
• has some sort of nurse-line or something so that when something is bothering me at 2 in the morning, I can call and ask questions.
• understands I want to walk the line between me having little natural pain tolerance and not wanting narcotics at the birth. I have a sensitivity to narcotics and narcotic-like medications and am basically a lighter-weight lightweight than a baby when it comes to the substances. Cough medicine makes me catatonic ... and true narcotics are killer. For goodness sake, 1 benadryl puts me under!
• I really don't care who is between my legs when I give birth. I figure I will be panting, screeching, moaning, etc., so much that whomever is down there will be immaterial. So the person who actually delivers me is moot. Instead, give me someone good in the meantime, before it is time for business. Establish enough trust with me by holding my hand through these months and I will behave for the birth. Maybe. :)

So, those are my qualifications. I made an appointment with the most laid-back OB they have. So far, I am not high-risk.

So -- a revised understanding of my predicament, a facing of the truth. All in the course of an hour -- what a novel turn of events. I went from miscarriage-oriented to "I'm going to have a child." Wow ---

All seems to be well ...

I'm still on the miscarriage watch (wouldn't you be too, with my history?) but all seems to be well. Just hoping, oddly enough, that morning sickness hits, just to know it is still viable. Sick, I realize. But ever watchful and expecting the worst ...

5w2d, not bad, and the longest I have ever been pregnant before ...

Ultrasound on Thursday, 4 whole days away. The OHSS is still kicking. Swollen. Passing pain. We'll see. :) Hope everyone has a lovely day!

Happy 5 weeks!

Well, I have my 5 week ultrasound, check-in with the doc, and bloodwork. While the OHSS is not improving (my right ovary got even larger) all of my blood work and electrolyte balances look good. And apparently the gall bladder isn't too irritated from all this.

And then we get to my lovely little embryo. First, it measures 5w1d, a fast starter. And it has a yolk sac ... superb! I have an appointment to check for the heartbeat next Thursday. Maybe, maybe .. once that shows, less than 10% chance for miscarriage, so knocking on wood!

But the doc is unusually confident (his words) about my embryo. He said that embryo is kicking out so much hormone we all thought there was more than one in there, that he has no worries. It's robust, healthy, growing faster than its age ... it's a good embryo. What a feel good concept!

I sent my folks a Valentine's Day card from "Baby X", written in Baby X's voice. I included the ultrasound picture and said all the doctor had said, particularly about the early growth and hormone imbalance ... I think my parents will be tickled and are going to show that picture around. I'm actually planning on sending copies of the ultrsounds to my folks and brothers on a routine basis, maybe not every ultrsound but enough so that they all get excited about this .... it should be fun!

Well, until Thursday, it has been a wonderful week!

OHSS Day 2

No news, just wanted to share that being fat with fluid is no fun. My innards jiggle when I walk! But I did weigh myself ... 114. Not bad. Since I had to go out to Walmart to get a scale, I have no idea what I weighed prior to OHSS, so ...

I wonder if I can take the scale off of my taxes as a medically-required piece of equipment? LOL!

Will I Never Learn?

Well, folks, it's Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome! WHEE!

Nothing like a blanket scary statement to bring out the fear in all the folks also undergoing ovulation induction, huh? I called the fertility clinic yesterday to ask about the pain in my stomach. She told me to go to my GP. Good thing I did not! He would have palpated my stomach area and could have popped an ovary.

When I was large again today, I called and got someone else. I asked what my progesterone level was because I am bloated and thought they might be related. Well, hell, it's probably hyperstimulation. I immediately booked an emergency ultrasound for 30 minutes from then and got the confirmation of OHSS at the local doc's office who handles my monitoring. This doc is a bit angry that they (the clinic) allowed things to get this bad.

I have fluid in my ovaries and pelvic cavity. It's a mild to moderate case. But here's the rub - when you have OHSS and are pregnant, the HCG makes it continue or get worse. FUN! And when you consider my HCG is quadrupling every 3 days, well, it's not good. I now will be followed by this doc, and he sounds like he's had plenty of experience with it. I am to take it easy (I'd planned on working out tonight, so thank goodness we found out what it was) and drink fluids, weigh myself daily and make sure I urinate a lot. He'll do another ultrasound on Friday and check my bloods ...

They saw one embryonic sac on the ultrasound. :) Not two. Two babies would make the OHSS last longer. As it is, with one baby, it'll last a month. Of course, since the HCG is doubling and it is still early yet, the doc is thinking it may yet be twins ... hence the ultrasound on Friday.

The doc is also worried about my stomach pain, thinking perhaps the progesterone is inflaming my gallbladder, so I think that may be examined on Friday too. Ah, yeah, and my nausea? It COULD be early morning sickness, but then it is more likely OHSS. By the time I get over OHSS nausea, the real stuff will have arrived. Ah, what a lovely concept!

Don't I do such a good job of screwing things up? It's my life ... I just can't help it.

I did go out tonight and buy some pants. A lady told me I looked 6 months pregnant. Ha! But now I have about 5 pair of size 6P (I'm normally a 4P) pants, so instead of needing to go into maternity as I begin to show, I can wear these again, once the OHSS is gone. And they'll be great for after baby ... and of course, any other time I may have OHSS!

This is a risky time ... I'm just hoping and praying all goes well. I am so talented ...

3rd beta

OK, recap:
1st 2/3 Beta 42
2nd 2/6 Beta 204
3rd 2/9 Beta 828

Yes, progressing nicely. We get our first glimpse on the inside on Friday.

Morning sickness is here, full-fledged. I am also bloated beyond belief and hope that calms down ... it's not from gas, so I'm thinking perhaps it is all that progesterone my body is making.

I don't have progesterone numbers yet ... not too worried about them actually. I have decided I'm having twins due to the quadrupling every 3 days. I know, you can't put anything into the HCG numbers. But when you combine the HCG numbers with the progesterone, I think it's twins. Oh happy day.

Beta #2

Just for Pepper :)

Yes, Beta #2 is in. 204. Progesterone is again sky-high (but now even higher) at 326, if I recall my numbers correctly, and TSH got worse at 8.15. Yikes, what an exciting time! More news once the dertility clinic contacts me with their desires (i.e., let's stick a wand in there and get an idea what we are talking about). Nervous, getting excited, slightly fearful.

You would think with all that progesterone in my body I would be feeling some symptoms. None, nadah, huh uh. Not wishing on it, but just wondering when it's going to hit me. :)